"... boldly go where no modem has gone before..." "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 "Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton. "Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?" "Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg. "But what could it be?" --- "Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline." - Dr. McCoy "Hex Dump" - Where Witches put used Curses? "I'm Beverly." "I'm Geordi." "We are Hugh." "If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure. "If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - B Gates "It appears to be a tagline of unknown origin." - Spock "It is clearly a bunny rabbit!" - Data "It is... hm... It is... It is green." - Data "Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition" -- Intel. "Picard Hood # Captain of Teas" "Picard, get some hair. Your brain has caught cold." - Q "Spock, I though you were dead!" "I rebooted." "Still no help for the Klingon." "TACO BELL" is not a Mexican Telephone company! "Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore..." "Well... it's GREEN..." > - Scotty "You summoned me, Captain?" asked Earl Grey, hotly. ################# CENSORED ################# ########IN SVGA COLOR WHERE AVAILABLE######## ##*#####*##+SQm#T*##g is eating my taglines. ##>This space intentionally left blank<## (( This tagline is a pale reflection of itself )) ((((((((HYPNOTIC))))))))((((((TAGLINE)))))))) (((((In Stereo Where Available))))) (A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened . . . (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza. (Dos + Windows + ATM) < OS/2 2.0! (Insert your own clever tagline here) ************ #eta testers are CRAZY! ************ **Just a minute, Dear - almost done** *I* didn't do it, the *computer* did it! ... and they're still looking! ;> 10 PRINT "Waiter, There's a bug in my LOOP": GOTO 10 186,252 km/h. It's not just a good idea; it's the law. 1st see that you are all right, then defeat an opponent. 2.0 is better than 1. 4AM? REALLY? Oh no, not again! 80586 microprocessor are for cooking... 90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. ::::: o>-< "Falling......" ?pu gnikcab yb naem uoy tahw siht sI A 100% right of return both ways. A Gentleman Never Gives Offense Carelessly. A HARD drive is more satisfying than a floppy. A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind (mine). A day without sunshine is like night. A feature is a bug with seniority. A fool and his money... leads to becoming a SysOp. A mouse is an elephant built in Japan. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago A well-crafted tagline is a joy forever. AAcckk!! II''mm iinn hhaallff dduupplleexx ASCII and ye shall receive. Abort, Retry, Fail, Ignore, Complain ? Admit Nothing..... Deny EVERYTHING..... Demand PROOF! After all is said and done, more is said than done... Ah, Watson, this is a three pipe problem. Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. An Elephant: A mouse Built to Government Standards An HST modem is a Dual Standard with a attitude problem. And God said: E = #mv# - Ze#/r, and there was light! And, I *finally* have a use for my microwave probe Are we having fun yet? Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?## Are you online? Good! Hit to take the I.Q. Test. Are you using OS/2 or this just an XT? Are you waiting for your prey? As I said before, I never repeat myself. Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it. Aw Honey... just one more message, honest... BAD command or file name. Go stand in the corner! BBSing: a mind is a terrible thing to waste. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. Back from vacation, and now paying for it ...... Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting tagwines Beam me up Scotty, no intelligent software on planet. Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash.... Best if read before date stamped on outer package. Blood is the lubricant of ignorance. Boot in the root! BAT in a FAT! Backup,backup,DAT,DAT,DAT Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Born Free....TAXED TO DEATH! Bugs come in through open Windows. But Honey, you NEED VGA for Dbase management! But I thought YOU did the backups... But Ma, Johnny has all of his doors registerd! But which one is the Fatherboard? Buy Canadian, American and Japanese motherboards By all means, let's not confuse ourselves by the facts. C code. C code run. Run code, run. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. CAUTION: Do not install prior to installation. COMDEX: Sturgis for nerds!!! Can I call you Ms. Dos? Cap'n she's na gonna take any more!!! Captain please, not in front of the Klingons. Caution! Don't be so open-minded, your brains slide out. Chain tagline! Copy or bad luck will follow! Character is the sum total of all our everyday choices. Choosy modemers choose GIF Clients who pay the least complains the most. Coming soon: Netware for Nintendo Coming to a TV soon, "Days of Our Modems" Computers are gre.............. Computers byte and run. Computers can never replace human stupidity. Confucius say: man who step in it often say it. Cows are made of mooving parts. DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet. DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.0 DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"... DOS=HIGH? I *knew* it was on something! Death is nature's way of recycling human beings. Deskview/X... But what could it do better than Windows NT Deskview/X... But what could it do better than Windows NT\ Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Did "Q" invent James Bond's weapons? Does "OS/2" translate to "small and squishy"? Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under OS/2! Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows! Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS! Try today's OS/2! Don't force it, get a larger hammer. Don't pick up that phon#9## NO CARRIER Don't try to THINK without proper tools Don't worry, I'm go#ng t# b#ckup t#d###!&%#~% Dos: Venerable. Windows: Vulnerable. OS/2: Viable. Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded! Drop your carrier...we have you surrounded! ERROR #00: CPU TOO *TIRED* TO CONTINUE Eat right, keep fit, and die anyway! EchoStoryWithinAStoryOnKlingonReadByKirk... Enemy lock on! I'm hit! Flame out! Eject-i-n-g-! Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. Error failed! Press any key to resume error. Excuse me, can you spare a tagline? FORD : Fix or Repair Daily. FREE PRIZE! NO PURCHASE NEEDED! (Details inside box) Fate... it protects fools & ships names Enterprise Feel free to interrupt me, at any time... File not found... Should I fake it (y/n)? Floppy drive not responding. Formatting HARD DRIVE ... For a good time, call 1-800-3IBMOS2 Forgive your enemies, but remember their names. Friends don't let friends use Windows. General Error Reading John Dvorak General OS/2 failure; Abort, Retry, Ignore, Use Windows Gentlemen: Start your debuggers... Get OS/2 2.0 - the best Windows tip around! Given a conflict Murphy's law superseds Newton's! Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules. Guns don't kill...bullets do. Happiness is your favorite program moving to Windows Have Laptop. Will Travel. Have you crashed your Windows today? Have you seen this Tagline? Call 1-800-TAG-THIS! He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke. He who laughs last uses OS/2. Help me!!! I can't turn my computer off! Help me, Bell is pulling my plu ####### NO CARRIER Help! I'm being held in a ZIP file Help! I'm caught in a time loop... time loop... Hey! Your Trakball is upside down! Hey!! This tagline make a very noisy sound... Hi, I'm Chip. Micro Chip. Eight-o-three-eighty-six! Hope you live long enough to be prosper... How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder! How do you spell relief? OS/2! How do you spell relief? W-I-N-D-O-W-S N-T How long must my genius go unrecognized? Hugh today, Borg tomorrow... I Absolutely REFUSE to use tag-lines!!! I am Locutus of Borg! Do you have any Grey Poupon? I am free of prejudices. I hate everyone equally. I am functioning within established parameters... I am the Terror that stays up late at night.. I am the girl next door's imaginary boyfriend... I believe in The Divine Right of SysOps. I booted my computer. Broke my damn toe! I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse. I can't use my software... My cat ate my mouse. I didn't do it; nobody saw me do it; you can't prove it. I do not think it means what you think it means. I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does. I don't know what it is... but it's green! I even tried to reformat it, but still can't read my file I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I haven't lost my mind, its backed up on tape somewhere I idiot-proof my programs,but along comes a bigger idiot. I know a good tag line when I steal one I like to leave messages *before* the beep. I love running Windows! NOT! I parked my harddisk - and got a ticket! I smashed a Window and saw... OS/2. I spent all my money on Bytes, Boards, and Bauds I thought we were autonomous collective. I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale. I tried the rest but bought the best!!!! I tried to drown my problems but they can swim. I tried to get a life, but it was too expensive. I use Windows and I don't care who knows! I used to be amazed, now I'm just confused. I used to have a life, then I got an BOCA HST ! I used to have money in the bank, now I have a BBS I used to watch TV, until I got a modem. I was expendable... I was stupid... I went. - Tasha Yar I was going to buy some memory, but I forgot! I was like this BEFORE watching Weather Channel non-stop. I went window shopping...and bought OS/2! I'm an OS/2 developer...I don't NEED a life! I'm happiest when someone else is doing the cooking. I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk I'm not a stranger...only a friend you haven't met. I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. I'm sorry my karma ran over your dogma. I'm too sexy for my CD-ROM. I'm trying to think, but nothing's happening. I've got 256K of RAM, so why can't I run Windows 3.0? I've got a 2 bit computer! I've had BETA days ... and nights!!! I've never been deed before... Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you. If Ivory soap is 99,44% pure, what the .56% is? If Windows sucked it would be good for something. If at first you don't succeed, call it a beta version. If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft. If it weren't for airplanes and computers ....... If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet! If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door! If this tagline served beer. Wouldn't that be great! If you can't make it good, make it big. If you can't read this, you need a modem. If you hear an Onion ring, please answer it! If you want it done right, forget Microsoft. Illiterate? Write for free information! Imagination is more important than knowledge. Imagination is the highest kite one can fly! Imprisoned in .QWK file! Send the ZIP army! In a VERY weak moment, I started a BBS. In case of emergency, administer chocolate! Is this the fun part? Is your disk running on ALL cylinders? It can`t be that hard to do It is always easier to destroy than to create. It takes 2.0, baby, it takes 2.0... It's 3.45am... and where is your brain? - Jolt Cola Co. It's 3.45am... and where is your brain? - Jolt Cola Compa\U It's OS/2, Jim, but not OS/2 as we know it. It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. It's not in the manual !!!!! James Bond Rules OO7 Jet engine theory: Suck, squeeze, bang, blow... Justice: A decision in your favor. Klingons evolved from seals. Want proof? "Worf! Worf!" LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer Lady, control yourself. I'm online here... Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. Let's round-up the usual suspects! Lieutenant Commander Data is programmed in C+++++++++++. Life Facts..Death, Taxes, and "THEY" will Tax us to Death Life ain't easy for a Borg named Hugh. Life would be easier if I had the source code... Life: A fatal, sexually transmitted disease. Line Noise!? Ha! I don't get li####%@# Lookout World! The Modem is Ringing! Losing sight of our goals is our biggest mistake! Love your neighbor : Just don't get caught! Luxuriantly hand-crafted of only the finest ASCII. MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile! MODEMS.....reach out & BYTE someone... Mail not found: (a)bort (r)etry (p)anic (b)lame sysop Mail your ideas written on the back of a $20 bill to... May all your tribbles be little ones.... May the modems never stop talking. McBorg: Over 50 Billion assimilated! Mickey Mouse wears a Brian Mulroney watch. Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting. Modem Police...we clocked you at over 1600 cps. Money is the root of all evil! (Send $15 for more info) Moving fast is not the same as going somewhere. Multitasking = screwing up several things at once. Murphy was an optimist! My Canada includes Florida from November until April... My Twit Filter just put me on its Twit List! My best view from OS/2 was through Windows NT. My best view from a Window was through OS/2. My computer NEVER loc My life is an unevaluated registration copy. My tagline is in the shop. This is a loaner. NAAAAA: N. American Assoc. Against Acronym Abuse Never judge a man by his taglines. Never test for an error you don't know how to handle. No bloody A, B, C or D!... - Scotty No, I'm NOT an Extended Character. Not a tagline, but an incredible simulation! Not enough memory to run VIRUS.COM . REBOOTING.. Not this tagline! Not this tagline!! Nothing exceeds like excess. Nothing is foolproof 'cause FOOLS are SO devious!! Now on CD ROM, classic taglines of the computer era. OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric. OS/2 - Bringing it all together in '9? (NOT!!!) OS/2 - the solution to a problem that doesn't exist. OS/2 2.0: Taking the wind out of Windows. OS/2 : "Why, I Never Dreamed Windows NT Was so Superb!" OS/2 : The Worlds's Only 9 Megabyte Solitaire Game OS/2 : an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error OS/2 means...CURTAINS for Windows! OS/2 vs. WINDOWS NT (Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson) OS/2, Windows/0 OS/2...Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates. OS/2: Bill Gates' worst nightmare! OS/2: Logic, not magic. OS/2: Not just another pretty program loader! OS/2: The choice of the next generation. OS/2: Upgrades are free. Who would PAY for it anyway? OS/2: Windows done RIGHT! OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass. OS/2: Your brain. Windows: Your brain on drugs. Of course its good. It's imported! Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience! Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O... One man's Windows are another man's walls. One night I came home very late. It was the next night. Operator, trace this call and tell me where I am. Our policy is ALWAYS to blame the computer. PUT THE COMPUTER DOWN, HONEY..I'm quitting NOW! People say I'm indecisive, but I'm not so sure. Phasers are the universal communicators. Please wait... Sysop has exited to DOS... Please, stop thinking so hard. I hate noise. Please... Don't try this tagline at home. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat. Press "+" to see another tagline. Press to get more file points on this BBS Press any key to destroy this disk Press here ###### for next Message Profanity, the language computerists know. Programming Dept.: Mistakes made while you wait. Promote green computing: recycle OS/2 in Windows NT Q-Tip: When a really powerful alien gives you advice. RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure! READY - Computer message which says it is bored. ROM: Randomly Operational Memory. Reader not found..., please notify tagline. Reality is for people who can't handle computers. Reality is what you BELIEVE it to be... Reality-ometer [\.......] Hmmm Thought so... Resourcefulness is a virtue... the only one I have! Rumour: NT means Not Tested SYSTEM ERROR : press F13 to continue... SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue... SYSTEM MALFUNCTION..(I)gnore, (R)eboot, (S)elf Destruct Save a plant...eat a vegetarian. Save changes? (Y)es, (N)o, (W)hat changes?!? Save laboratory animals - use lawyers. Save the turtles. Don't wax your car. Schizophrenia means never having to sleep alone! Scott me up Beamie... Scotty, hurry, beam me... uragg^*.%# NO CARRIER. Second-hand tagline. As-is, $.10. No refunds or exchange See the Future; See OS/2. Be the Future; Run OS/2. Self-Serve Tagline:______________________________ Senile.com found.....Out of Memory.... She's dead, Jim, but still warm... Flip for it? Silly wabbit, QWKs are for kids. Six megs, two monitors, and an attitude So Many Messages!.............So Little Time! Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software. Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits. Sometimes the best way to do something is later. Sometimes you just have to say 'What the heck' Speed Kills - Use Windows! Standards are wonderful! So many to choose from! Stop VIRUSES, wear a sleeve on your floppy! Storms are caused by cold fronts and weekends Success comes in a can. Failure comes in a can not. Sure I know how to copy disks, where's the Xerox? Tagline copyright 1992. All rights reserved. Tagline not found. Please notify sysop. Tagline shortage. Please help recycle taglines. Tagline stolen? Call 911, ask for the Tagline Division. Taglines that make you go "Hmmm..." Taglines...one line freedom of speech! Tagteam: A bunch of people thinking up taglines Tale of a tagline theif: I came, I saw, I swiped. Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer... Terminal program : a dying program. That's funny... It was here a minute ago... That's it! What do you guys think? That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues! The Borg are comming! Quick, try to look useless! The UART's won't take this speed, Captain The above opinions are those of my computer! The best tranquilizer is a clear conscience. The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity. The dog ate my .REP packet. The earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can. The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades! The hologram is your assurance that this is a tagline. The light at the end of a tunnel is a train~ The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets. The number you have reached is not in service ! The power of money depends on how fast it moves. The road to success is always under construction The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true. The universe is laughing behind your back. The white horse of Napoleon was black. The wise man seeks everything in himself. This green stuff is Andorian Whiskey... This is an egg... this is an egg on a 486DX-50 cpu... This space available soon This tagline intentionally left blank. This tagline is SHAREWARE! To Register, send me $10 This tagline is unregistred... please send 100$ to ... This tagline is unregistred... please send 100$ to the se\UTIL\T This tagline was created in the laboratories of Starfleet This tagline was created in the laboratories of Starfleet\UTIL\TEL Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. To err is Human. To blame someone else is politics. To start from scratch, you must first create the Universe To steal entire message press ALT X To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows... Today's 486 is tomorrow's 586. Enjoy. Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. Tune in tomorrow when....... Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:\> USRobotics Dual Std - the best A LOT of money can buy! Ugly bag of mostly water! Ultimate office automation: networked coffee machines. Unable to locate Pepsi -- Operator Halted! User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot. Viruses are god way of punishing program pirates. WARNING! Tagline will self-destruct in 15 seconds. WINDOWS NT : Faster than a Cray (running OS/2). WOMAN.ZIP....Great program, no documentation! Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows. Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required. Wasn't there a cliff around herrrrrrrr##### NO BARRIER We replaced the Dilithium with new Folger's Crystals. We support Shareware.. Register Yours. Whadaya mean I can't pay you with Club Z points?!?!? What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY! What are you waitin' for... Go buy a CD-ROM! What can you do at 3 AM? Psssttt - got a modem?? What does a Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy do? What kind of an airline shows "Terror at 30000 feets"??? What we have here is a failure to communicate... What's shorter then a weekend? A Vacation What? I'm supposed to know what I'm doing, too? What?!? DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke? When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2! When all else fails, read the docs. When all else fails-"Format C:"! When in doubt, change the rules. - James T. Kirk When you learn the answers, they change the questions. Which gets you to NY faster : The 16 bit bus or the 8 bit While (!cat) play (mouse); Who'd like to see a cat-fight between Troi and Crusher? Why doesn't ALL ever respond to his/her messages? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why isn't phonetically spelled that way? Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2 Win3.1? For fast relief call 800-3-IBM-OS2. Windows - OS/2 the way it SHOULD have been!! Windows 3.1 coming to the rescue! Wait for FedEx!!!!!!! Windows NT is the Future... So that why the future is so Windows NT is the Future... So that why the future is so \UTIL\TELIX Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0! Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared. Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so... Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art. Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged" Windows: A View to be Killed. Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN! Windows: Just another pane in the glass. Windows: The CP/M of the future! Windows: The Gates of hell. Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error! Windows? Homey don't play that! Windows? WINDOWS?!? Hahahahahehehehehohohoho... Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions Wisdom is knowing which bridge to cross and which to burn With a modem, I can take on the world! With software like OS/2, who needs a Virus Wolf just need a good hug. WordPerfect - 8.3 million users could be wrong! YarFan, n. 1. Trekkie obsessed with ropes and chains. Yesterday, i've played frisbee with my CD-ROM. You said Windows was a Power Tool??? You should presently be able to deal from a full deck. You're throwing it all out the Windows! Your reality is dependent on your design [>Bug removal Tagline. Bang forehead here to debug => ##\U `:-| "Fascinating, Captain!" - Spock grep..grep..grep... (Frog w/UNIX stuck in throat) is OS/2 only half an operating system?